Do you have any early memories of a spiritual dimension to your life? It would be true to say that throughout my life I was interested in the unexplained, metaphysics. But try though I may, I could never get my head round the God issue. It just didn't add up to me; that this one being could create everything, be responsible for everything and yet allow such dreadful things to happen. There was a paradox there as far as I was concerned. I think I always felt there had to be something else other than flesh and blood. I was always convinced there was more to human beings than the physical form or even cognitive thought. I searched I suppose, most of my life for answers. And it wasn't until I was forty-eight that I felt, I'd found what I'd been looking for - that being the three jewels. When I was an apprentice joiner I worked for the,(as many at that time did), the local builder who was invariably also the local undertaker; so I did my share of what we used to call "body-snatching". We used to have to go and pick people up in the black van who had died. So at sixteen and seventeen I saw dead bodies. I think that struck me quite profoundly because I realized that when I looked at these things, whilst I was looking at what had been a human being, there was something missing, something gone.

How did you first contact the dharma? Quite by accident. Contrary to my educational short-comings, in later life I really switched on to reading, and Cath, my wife, was a reader and we were members of a book club. Between my first major operation and my second, a period of about sixteen months I ordered a book - "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rimpoche, and it stayed in the cellophane packet for at least nine months; I never touched it. I had a back-log of reading to do and it was always "I'll not bother with that one just yet." And then I realized one morning, instinctively, my problem had come back. I remember getting up and saying to Cath, "It's back, I know it's back"; and we subsequently found it had. So within quick fire time I was in hospital again for my second major operation. This was a bigger one than the first. I had a stay in hospital for ten or so days and I took some books in. I started to read the "Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", and it just completely blew my mind. You know, I'm turning pages over thinking - I didn't think anybody felt this way but I've felt this way all my life. Every part of my life was on those pages in black and white, I could not believe it. And that was it. I was hooked. I read that book and then another and another. I wasn't well. I had to go for a consultation which potentially was going to be pretty bad news. That particular night before the appointment with the consultant, I just couldn't sleep. I was in really, really bad mental states. I remember looking at the clock and it being three in the morning and thinking - crikey, am I going to get through tonight, am I going to get through tomorrow? And I didn't know at that stage whether or not you prayed as a Buddhist, whether you asked the Buddha's of the past or the future for help, I didn't know any of this. But I remember saying, "If there are Buddha's out there, if there is a Boddhisatva that can hear me, that can help, I need it now." And the next thing I remember was waking up in the morning. And I thought, that'll do for me; that's good enough. I had also said that if you help me tonight, I promise I'll find somewhere to practice. I kept my side of the bargain because I looked, and I chased, and I rang; I rang London, Norwich, all too far away for me. Then I was in a book shop in Leeds and I found the FWBO leaflet for Leeds and I contacted you.

What changes has contact with the Dharma made to your life? Everything. I don't think there is one part of my life or being that hasn't changed profoundly. I was a very, very materialistic person; ran a business; wanted a bigger car; wanted a better salary; wanted a better holiday; feed the ego; wanted people to look up to me; all that changed, practically over night, it just left me, and it freed me. I didn't put that sort of pressure on myself. So I became happier. And that happiness has stayed with me, throughout probably the most difficult period of my life as well. And that is down to the dharma and to the three jewels.

How important is Faith to your practice? It's the corner-stone because without Faith you have nothing. Without belief you have nothing. The first part of the Noble Eight-Fold path, (it's obvious why it's the first part) because without faith, without belief, nothing else can follow.

So do you equate Faith with Vision? Oh yes, very much so. To see the truth is Faith to me, and to be convinced by the truth, consumed by the truth, is Faith, is Vision, it's one in the same.

Can you say anything about what you have Faith in? I have Faith in the Dharma because it makes sense to me. Whilst it's a spiritual thing, very much heart felt, as far as I'm concerned it's also a practical thing. So it's a combination of having spiritual faith and a pragmatic point of view about what the Dharma tells you. So that combination to me is everything.

How important are meditation and reflection? Meditation has always been difficult for me. It is something that I have worked at for about four years. Initially the first two years it was maybe once, twice a week, then three times a week. And then I got into a regular daily practice. I wish I could say I looked forward to getting onto the cushions and really having a good sit but I never looked forward to it. I did it because I thought it came with the territory. Reflection on the other hand is something that I value and enjoy and feel helps me develop as a person, as a being. But I see the two as being two sides of the same coin, in that reflection for me is very creative and helps me to develop and move forward, but I also accept that without a daily meditation practice I lack the discipline, and I think that's important. You have to have both sides of the coin working at the same time.

What place do old friends, family and sangha hold in your life? I think there is some balance necessary. For me that is the family, particularly Cath. Cath is not a Buddhist and does not necessarily agree with some of the philosophy; she sees it as being selfish. And I know a lot of people view it that way. So that has been a difficult one. And purely because of my lack of strength I have had to accept that if it came down to a choice between the Dharma and Cath, then the Dharma would lose, and I'd have to try again in another life. Old friends are different because on finding the three jewels I started to change immediately and I found I no longer had anything in common with ninety percent of my old friends. Consequently they fell away.

Was that a painful experience? It was a difficult one because some of the things I'd done in the past, I didn't want to do. I didn't want to go and get drunk, I didn't want a drink. I tried desperately to keep my precepts. It was only difficult because of the effect it was having on Cath, it was easy for me. But it did narrow our world. But that's past now.

What has been your experience of Sangha? The Sangha has been a source of utter joy. I've never had friends like I've had in the Sangha. I've had what I now realize were acquaintances, business friends but never friends like I've had in the Sangha. And the support that I've received particularly from the Going for Refuge Group, I never thought I would find in this life time. And without it I don't know where I'd be. So very, very important to me.

How long have you been ill? This has gone on for me now for quite a long time - five and a half years since I was first diagnosed. My local GP gave me a year. I didn't know that until just recently. They said to me, "Are the people at Cookridge Hospital surprised that you are still around?" and I said, "I don't know", because they are very clever; they never slip up or make mistakes, like making rash statements about whether you should be here or not.

Pain? Of course there are different kinds of pain; there is the physical pain and there is the mental pain. The physical pain is like a cloud with a silver lining because whilst you are enduring it it is of course dreadful but the joy when it leaves you is just wonderful. It must be like being on drugs, although I've never taken them, because it's just , wow, it's going, it's going. So you can always find something that is positive, that's worthwhile; that is my experience.

What about the medical professions attitude towards illness and death? It's first class. I get the impression that my consultant and his team and everybody whose been associated with my treatment won't give up until I close my eyes for ever, until the last breath. I'm confident they won't give up. There was a time when I'd say that if I had a choice between not having the Cancer and not finding the Dharma, I'd stick with the Dharma, and to hell with everything else.

Some people with serious illness sometimes say that it has made them appreciate life more fully. Do you think that is true of you? In a way it makes you appreciate life. But it's not really clear to me, it's not a clear vision that I have - ie. before getting ill everything was bland and afterwards I can see all the greenery and hear the birds and all the rest of it - it's not like that. But it focuses the mind. It concentrates the mind on what's important, what really is important, and the rest of it you can throw away. So from that point of view, yes it makes you appreciate life.

What did you learn from all your years as a business man? I learnt that you cannot achieve happiness externally. And no matter what, you would experience dukkha (suffering). It was there all the time and to a certain extent the more money you got the stronger the dukkha.

What pursuits/hobbies do you have that you enjoy? Before my limitations came in, (which are getting more pronounced as the weeks go by) Cath and I enjoyed walking, the Dales, that sort of thing. I personally have always enjoyed motor sports and motor cars. But it's changed throughout my life as time's gone on. There was a time when I enjoyed boxing. But that changed. And you do change. It's not just the Dharma that changes you, you change for all kinds of reasons as you get older. I compensate my physical limitations with the fact that I love to read. It's a passion I get a great deal out of, which I'm glad about because I would hope that no matter how physically restricted I become, that will be the last thing I will have to give up. I have a good friend called Nev Daley, a very successful business man. He was an accountant. He's retired now and seventy. He comes up to see me, and I remember a few years ago saying to him, "What stage of your life did you enjoy best Nev?" And he said, "Every one, every part, because each one, like the seasons of the year, brings in different delights. All you've got to do is learn how to appreciate them. I feel a bit like that.